Cancer Bracelet – What's the Point?
by Steve Theunissen
The world is at war – the enemy can’t be seen yet, its effect is being felt by families everywhere. Its very name is enough to strike fear in even the staunchest of hearts – CANCER. It’s time for humankind to strike back. Yet, what can we do against such an invasive enemy? Well, one thing we can all do is to stand shoulder to shoulder in a show of solidarity against this relentless foe. How? By wearing a cancer bracelet.
A cancer bracelet? Yes, my friend, a cancer bracelet. Now, I know what you’re thinking. How the *%! can a cancer bracelet halt the deadly spread of such a sinister disease? What’s a namby pamby cancer bracelet going to achieve in the medical communities age old race to find a cancer cure? What’s the friggin’ point?
The point? Well, let me tell you the point, my friend. Every cancer bracelet raises money for cancer research, ok? Are you that much of a cold hearted, cynical creep that you can’t see the value in that? So, what if a cancer bracelet is a little bit sissy, a tad limp wristed. What’s wrong with you man? Are you that insecure about your manliness that you can’t do something truly meaningful that might just make a difference in the world? Yeah, I thought as much. Then why not go and crawl back under that rock you’ve been hibernating beneath for the past 500 years? And if you develop cancer while you’re under there, don’t expect anyone to wear a cancer bracelet for you, pal. You are officially a cancer bracelet free zone. Good riddance!
For the rest of you normal people, the cancer bracelet is officially cool. Of course, if you’re a cancer survivor you already know that. Wear your cancer bracelet with pride. If you’ve got a friend or relative with cancer what better thing could you do to show your solidarity and support than wearing a cancer bracelet? And if you’re a person who simply wants to give the big C a smack in the face, wear a cancer bracelet. Wear your cancer bracelet wherever you go. Going to catch a movie – wear your cancer bracelet. Stripping down for the beach – hey don’t remove that cancer bracelet. Heading off to the big game – wear multiple cancer bracelets (who knows - you might end up on TV).
Which cancer bracelet should you choose? Should you go for the yellow Lance Armstrong original cancer bracelet or the swish new pink breast cancer bracelet? Why not get one of each cancer bracelet style to coordinate with your choice of outfit (and remember, pink is the new black). Hell, why not get a different color cancer bracelet for each day of the week. After all, we’re not talking millions of bucks here. Where else can you buy a stylish piece of jewelry that’s bound to be a conversation starter for less than the cost of a Big Mac and fries.
Yes, my friend the time of the cancer bracelet has arrived. Embrace it.
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